Hey BotSwana
by bemyhoneybee
Summary: Bella is continually bugged by her bud, Jasper. Pretty soon her bud's buds start bothering her, too. Somehow, the once invisible Bella, with only Jasper as a bridge to the rest of society, becomes the center of all male attention. WTF! AU, AH


** Heyy guys! :) Here's a li'l into a new story. . . **

**Be forewarned that my story probably won't have any deep or touching plot. I wrote this in a whim. I was procastinating from homework, and a couple hours later, I got this. **

**This is purely for entertainment. . (and I guess, to be frank, MY entertainment, for I wrote/&will write the story for the sake of having fun)**

**Anyway, Ms. Meyers owns Twilight.**

**Here's ch. 1. Enjoy!  
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Chapter 1

**HaleMe68:** FREEZE! Tell me exactly what's on your screen.

**botSwana:** wikiHow—How to freestyle rap

**HaleMe68**: Ooh, are you trying to learn the ways of your secret, black lover?

**botSwana**: It's like you can read my mind, Jazz

**HaleMe68:** Expect no less from me, Bells

I hear the telephone ring as I begin typing my reply, but I ignore it, knowing it probably wasn't for me.

"Bella! Phone!" my mother surprises me as she hollered from across the hall.

**botSwana:** …Are you calling me?

**HaleMe68: **Yup

**botSwana:** Why?

**HaleMe68:** Just answer the phone.

I skipped down the stairs and grabbed the phone.

"Hey," I answered with a sigh.

Without a greeting he said, "Get dressed. We're partying." I hung up and threw the phone away before he could say another word. Predictably, he sent another message.

**HaleMe68: **We're picking you up in 15.

**botSwana: **NO! And GOODBYE!

I shut my laptop, irritated by another one of Jasper's attempt to improve my apparently insipid social life. He's been at it for weeks, trying to drag me out of the comfort of my house. Each time he invites me, I refuse, but he still comes. Luckily, I've been successful on evading the parties he wanted to attend, but if it wasn't the party, he usually had something else to substitute his original plans. So far it's been ice skating, forced skirt shopping, and once, he even dared to bring porn to my house! He's such a bastard. But I guess he's pretty useful to be around, especially at school when I'm all outcast-like. Now, I stare at the clock, dreading what he had in mind.

As expected, the doorbell rang exactly fifteen minutes later.

Through the peep hole I studied his attire. Ripped jeans, which he probably bought ripped in a ridiculously high priced, and a long sleeved black shirt. It looks like we're doing something casual. Still… I don't want to go.

"Bella," he sing-sang, "There's a better way to spend your Friday night than learning how to rap."

"I don't want to disappoint my boyfriend and embarrass him with my incompetent rapping." I murmured.

He laughed, "Well, if you have to be good at rapping to be his woman, he is not worth your time, hon."

I opened the door, unable to resist Jasper's charming ways. He immediately frowned, though, seeing my sleeping attire.

"I told you we were coming to get you."

"We?"

"Me and my bud. He's in the car. But you—you aren't even dressed. Bella, we're going to a party, and unless you plan to dance in your bunny pants, you better change in the next two minutes."

I glared at him, "First of all, they're monkeys. And second, I said no to your little invitation."

He was about to protest, but I held up my hand, stopping him. "_Third_, I cannot believe you would even _think_ of me dancing. In a party. With _people_ around. Where have you been the past few months?!"

He chuckled, "I've been around, long enough to know that you _can_ dance. Bells, remember those times in your bedroom." He said, wiggling his eyebrows.

On reflex, my cheeks burned immediately. "Head banging to punk music and jumping on my bed, does not count as dancing! Anyway, _fourth_, if you already have someone with you, why bother taking me?"

Jasper sighed and barged into the house. As he climbed up the stairs, he said, "I brought this guy with me to be with you while I woo milady. Now, hurry up and make yourself look hot." He ran to my room, expecting me to follow.

My nerves boiled with irritation. I stomped out of the house, determined to shoo his fucking "bud" away and then push Jasper out the window after. But as I clattered down the stairs, I slammed into a hard wall… or maybe it was a post? I have no idea. I just saw… black.

TBC

**Reviews put me in a rapping mood.**


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